Unexpected (DA2 edition) (T for a little rough language)

 27.10.2011

Prompt/title: Unexpected 2 (Of Dragons, Griffins and Chantry Mice)

Rating: T (some rough language)

Word count:633

Characters: Carver, M!Hawk, Anders, Isabela, Sebastion, mentions of others.

A/N Wow this is late, but meh, at least the block finally broke lol. I have a couple more coming, but this is all I have atm.

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Anders' back slumped in resignation as he heard Hawk's words. He had known that this might happen. Hawk and that Chantry Prince were thick as thieves, and Sebastion was never going to understand the plight of Mages. The Chant was too ingrained into his psyche and the man was far too much of a "momma's boy" to think for himself. If he called for blood to avenge the Grand Cleric, Hawk would supply it.  

Hawk accepted Sebastian's dagger and walked up behind Anders. 

The mage took a deep breath and held it, waiting for the blade to pierce him. Typical that his closest friend, who was a mage himself, would opt for a rogues weapon to do the deed. Or perhaps he would give the bratty archer the honors after all, and an arrow would do the piercing instead. Didn't THAT thought make his head swim.

Or maybe it was lack of oxygen. He expelled the breath in a rush, wondering what was taking so long. He heard Isabella make a tutting sound, and finally turned around to face the angry group behind him. He steeled himself and turned to see...

A gigantic sword drawing just the slightest trickle of blood as it rested gently at Hawk's throat.

Huh?

Anders vision swam a little as his mind tried to catch up to his eyes. He vaguely registered the sound of Hawk's staff hitting the ground as he slid his gaze over to Sebastion. The nug loving tosser had a blade pressed to his groin even as a rather bountiful bosom wrapped in white cloth was being pressed to his face. The frigid git looked as if his head may explode.

Wait, what?

Anders let out a slightly hysterical giggle.

He looked to the other person in the group who would likely want to see him dead, to discover Alistair with his boot planted squarely in the elf's tattooed back, and his shield lodged at the base of his neck.

Anders giggled again.

Deciding he was going slightly mad, the mage stood and turned to face the group of people who were currently pointing too many weapons at each other. Just behind the group he spotted... was that Amell?!?. The Warden Commander was happily chatting with Knight Captain Cullen, and gesturing wildly with a huge shit eating grin on her face. Wait, was Cullen... Blushing? And... Smirking?? Was he even capable of smirking?

Anders' poor brain, unable to take any more weirdness, forced his eyes back to the immediate issue at hand, namely the man who was about to kill him.

"Anders, are you alright brother?" Carver asked in a serious voice.

"Carver what the bloody hell!" Hawk sputtered, looking fit to kill the younger man.

"Don't. You. Dare. This man saved my LIFE!!" Bellowed Carver. "What would Father think? Andraste's perky tits, you are A MAGE!. Would you stab Bethany in the back as well if she has survived the blight?"

"But, I..."

"No! You don't get to be surprised, OR pissed off, you amazing shitheel. You get to show some integrity for once and fight for the damned cause that you and father rammed down my throat for the past 27 years." Carver slowly lowered the massive sword from Hawke's throat and sniffed.

"But I..." Hawk was looking nervously at Sebastion for guidance only to realise that his friend was currently suffocating in cleavage, as Isabela laughed and prodded his thigh with her extremely sharp dagger. He looked back to Carver and gulped.

"No buts, you will apologise to my fellow Grey Warden here for threatening his life, and then you will go and discuss strategy with the Knight Captain and the Hero over there. Oh and when this is over, we are going to have a long chat about loyalty."

To the horrified fascination of all present, Hawk swallowed convulsively, nodded and wandered away to do as he was told.

As the tension dissipated, Varric sauntered over to Anders and clapped him on the back.

"You still with us Blondie?"

"Um... Yeah... That was just... unexpected."

"No shit, even I couldn't have planned that..."