feckless_muse: (Default)
Series: Of Dragons, Griffins and Chantry Mice

Title: Also, I Can Kill You With My Brain

Rating: T

Characters: Mage!Hawk, most of the gang

"There you go, trying to boss me around again! I'm not doing it!" The younger Hawk crossed his arms, scowling at his sister with a mutinous look on his face.

"Carver, stop being childish! If you have a better idea, tell me. If you don't then please, for the love of the Maker, shut up and put... it... on!" 

"But... It's... Purple!" Carver sniped back. "Why can't you wear this one? I'll wear the green one!"

"Don't be silly Carver, the green one will never fit you. We are doing this for mother, and by the Void, you will do this and pretend to be happy about it! Besides, Varric is wearing his and he looks dashing!"

"Actually Hawk, I'm really not sure about the padding around the stomach... It... It hides all my chest hair!" The dwarf picked at front of the red and white jacket, trying to pull the neckline lower.

Fenris emerged from Hawks rooms looking confused. He strode up to her waving a black and white ball of fluff and velvet in her face. 

"Hawk, I can understand that it is cold, so I can understand the fur around the edges... but do the pants have to be this tight?" He let the bundle in his hand drop so it hung by it's fluffy white pompom. "I will not however where this." 

"I think the pants show off your ass-ets nicely!" Isabela drawled, leering at his velvet clad backside. She was lounging in the stairwell, looking perfectly at home in a diaphanous version of Andraste's robes.

"That's not very nice Fenris, Hawk ordered that outfit especially for you!" Merril bounded over, swiped the hat and placed it gleefully on the scowling elf's head before skipping off to hang up pieces of Harlot's Blush at the top of the doorways around the main hall. She swished the fur hem of her extremely short velvet skirt as she worked, humming to herself under her breath.

Aveline and Donnic walked in dressed in matching antique soldiers uniforms. Aveline's usually stony countenance slipped as she broke into a fit of giggles, her eyes shining as she looked around the room at the festively dressed group. 

"Oh that's great!" Carver muttered. "They get to wear armor, why can't I?"

A subdued chorus of 'it's not fair', 'I don't want to', and 'you can't make me' ensued.

"Enough!!" Roared Hawk, stamping her foot. "I'm going to signal Anders that he can bring mother back. If you lot aren't ready to revel, carouse and have fun when I get back, so help me..." 

"You'll what?" Asked carver with a sneer, gathering up his costume despite his defiant tone. 

"Well, if the repercussions of annoying me, pissing off Gamlen and ruining mothers night isn't enough of an incentive, then remember this. I pay your wages, I'm friends with the managers of the Rose, and I can KILL YOU ALL WITH MY BRAIN!" Hawk turned on her glittery green heel, and flounced out the door, slamming it behind her.

As the room cleared Varric sidled over to Fenris looking perturbed.

"Broody, did a four foot three fairy in green and red lace and sparkly high heels just threaten to kill us with her brain?"

"Yes." Replied Fenris trying not to laugh.

Isabella sauntered over to offer the men her flask of whiskey. 

"Well boys," she said, with mischief in her eyes "she certainly made sure we were combustible enough, perhaps we shouldn't test how serious she was."

The men looked at each other for a moment, and ran for their places, just as the door opened.

Carver reached into the sack of gifts that Varric was carrying and handed one to Leandra, who sported a huge smile and teary eyes.

He grinned down at Leandra, hugging her with one arm and flicking the ball of purple fur from his hat out of his face with the other. "Happy feast day mother!"

Upstairs Anders and Hawk put the finishing touches on his outfit and paused at the top of the stairs to survey the festive scene below.

"You put on quite a show love, how did you get this done so fast?" He asked putting an arm around her shoulder.

"Oh, you know, promises, favors, my silver tongue..." Hawk shrugged with a look full of guile. 

"Ahhh love I know that look, what did you really do?" he drawled pulling her into his arms beneath a sprig of Harlot's Blush. 

Hawk chuckled against his lips, eyes shining with mirth. 

"I threatened to show them why Mages are feared..."  
feckless_muse: (Default)
secret swooper gift for the lovely miss_m_cricket for swooping_is_bad on LJ.  NSFW on account of drunken dirty talkin and dodgy use of maker given gifts. 

feckless_muse: (Default)
Oh gods I just had to squee about the line that Anders just came out with after exiting the tunnels.

"What it it with you and helping cute elves with no self preservation instincts?"

He was lookin' right at Fenris when he said it too * maniacal cackle*

 Aw why didn't I have it recording *cries*

I need to go write some fic now *does happy dance*

feckless_muse: (Default)
From Tuesday Promptfest. Part of my "Of Dragons, Griffins and Chantry Mice" collection. 

Rating: T
Word count: 690

(Late I know, but the evil interwebs were against me for a few days. Better late than never right? lol)

“Venhedis!” Fenris snarled again, trying in vain to extract his target from the roiling liquid. 

He had done everything right as far as he could tell, yet what was floating around in the large cauldron was nothing like the desired end product. Admittedly he had never seen it at this stage in it's production before, but it even smelled wrong.

“How in the maker's name am I supposed to...get... this... out...” The elf hissed, batting at the surface of the liquid with a gauntleted finger. 

Sighing in frustration he licked the slightly greasy looking liquid from the now hot metal claws. Grimacing he groaned and wiped the offending gauntlet clean on a nearby cloth, shredding it in the process. 

He leaned on the bench by the fire and sighed, bowing his head. He could fell enemies with a single blow from his sword, but he couldn't read the instructions well enough to help Hawk when she needed him most. 

He overheard the Abomination and Varric talking once when Merril was ill, and they said that this concoction would make someone who was sick feel better. Perhaps he should go to the clinic and ask for help... No. Or perhaps the blood mage. Maybe the pirate... How she would laugh if he went to her for help with this!

“Aww, Hawk, festis bei´╗┐ umo canavarum” He muttered, blowing a strand of silver hair from his eyes.

He carefully pulled a parchment towards the edge of the table, plunked down on the stool and started reading again.

“...when the chi..ken falls off the b..bones, re...remove the car...carcass from the s...soup and se...pa...rate the meat from the bones. Ch...chop the chi...ken up then re...ret... VENHEDIS!!” his gauntlets had begun to gouge tiny divots into the table top when he felt a small hand on his shoulder.

“Messere, if... if I may, is something ailing you?” Came a timid female voice from behind him.

“Orana, I apologise, I did not mean to make more work for you.” Fenris sighed looking at the scored tabletop.

“Oh no, Messere, it is only that I heard you reading and I thought, that is, I thought this might help.” The timid girl handed him a large metal strainer. “It is easier if you take it off the heat first though.”

Fenris looked at the strange piece of equipment for a moment then, looking embarrassed he took it and walked over to the still bubbling pot. 

“Messere, if I may be so bold as to ask, what are you doing? 

Fenris turned to look at her, raising an eyebrow. Orana gasped and started stuttering. 

“I, I mean no offense of course, you are welcome to make use of the house as you will, but it is only that, well Bodhan or I can cook for you, you don't have to trouble yourself... I mean, I am sorry Ser, of course you may cook whatever you like in the Mistress' kitchen...” She trailed off looking pitifully out of her depth in the face of a scorched and miffed looking warrior who also happened to be the most deadly man she knew.

“Nooo, no Orana. I know you and Bodhan are very good cooks, it is just that Hawk is unwell. I...” He let out a huge breath and sagged back onto the stool again motioning for Orana to sit next to him.

“I have never felt about anyone the way I feel about Hawk. She has given so much of herself, and yet she never asks for anything in return. I have treated her terribly in the past, but I care about her more than any other.”

Fenris' brow creased as he looked up at the former slave girl worry and frustration evident in his large green eyes. He finally gave in and took off his gauntlets and weapons, then turned back to the Orana with a look of determination on his face.

“My lady was injured Orana, and I wish to do something for her... to make her feel better. Will... will you help me?”

Orana smiled and nodded. “Of course Messere.”

November 2013

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